Bismillah.
Its almost midnight. The kids are fast asleep. And I am oncall tomorrow. But I can't sleep because I just received a news.
It is supposed to be a good news. It is a good news. But I just don't know what I should feel right now.
Pernah ke rasa macam tu? Kita dah berdoa pada Allah untuk dipermudahkan urusan dan tiba-tiba Allah bagi. Jadi confuse tak tahu nak rasa bersyukur atau kena fikir eh ini ujian ke daripada Allah?
Sebab kita tak tahu pun sebenarnya apa yang kita minta tu terbaik ke tidak sebenarnya pada kita? What if tak baik sebenarnya, siapa suruh pergi mintak?
Sejujurnya dalam perjalanan karier sebagai seorang doktor ni, saya selalu rasa dan ditempatkan dalam keadaan yang saya tak pernah mintak pun. I was hoping to do my housemanship in sabah or sarawak. But I did mine in PPUM instead sebab suami dah kerja situ. Turns out I had great time as HO there. Habis MO, I requested for placement in Klinik Kesihatan but none was available and was placed to a district hospital. Turns out the 10 month time spent there is so precious and meaningful. I learned a lot to be independent, to be brave when treating patient and understood how it is when you need to refer patient because you are lack of resources. Entered a newly open hospital hoping that all department are available for me to join. But of course, nama pun newly open mestilah kena fill up the most crucial department dulu.
Bukan tak reti nak bersyukur, but compared to fortunate few around me yang Allah atur cantik-cantik ikut apa yang mereka plan nak buat daripada awal.
So when finally things are about to turn in the right direction for me as I hoped it will, I became numb and not know how am I suppose to react. Tak biasa lah plan Allah sama dengan plan kita. Sebelum ni bila tak sama, selalu pujuk hati, inilah yang terbaik daripada Allah. So bila dah sama, ini yang terbaik atau ujian? Misteri sungguh otak perempuan sorang ni. Haha.
Belum lagi benda nak jadi, saya dah fikir macam-macam pros and cons. I called mr.husband and asked for his opinion on how I should feel. Kelakar tak, nak rasa macam mana pun kena tanya suami ke? Haha. Simple je jawapan dia. Allah nak suruh rasa bersyukur.
Now that I came to think about it as I write this down, if it turns out good Alhamdulillah, and if it turns bad, Alhamdulillah juga sebab at least I get the chance to go through it. In the future I will not regret if I miss this opportunity.
Okay?
I would not prolong it further. I am trying this new thing of cuba menulis tak panjang-panjang sangat. Haha.
So what's the news? We shall wait till it become official.
Asslamualaikum
12.13am
Precall syndrome. Haih.
Its almost midnight. The kids are fast asleep. And I am oncall tomorrow. But I can't sleep because I just received a news.
It is supposed to be a good news. It is a good news. But I just don't know what I should feel right now.
Pernah ke rasa macam tu? Kita dah berdoa pada Allah untuk dipermudahkan urusan dan tiba-tiba Allah bagi. Jadi confuse tak tahu nak rasa bersyukur atau kena fikir eh ini ujian ke daripada Allah?
Sebab kita tak tahu pun sebenarnya apa yang kita minta tu terbaik ke tidak sebenarnya pada kita? What if tak baik sebenarnya, siapa suruh pergi mintak?
Sejujurnya dalam perjalanan karier sebagai seorang doktor ni, saya selalu rasa dan ditempatkan dalam keadaan yang saya tak pernah mintak pun. I was hoping to do my housemanship in sabah or sarawak. But I did mine in PPUM instead sebab suami dah kerja situ. Turns out I had great time as HO there. Habis MO, I requested for placement in Klinik Kesihatan but none was available and was placed to a district hospital. Turns out the 10 month time spent there is so precious and meaningful. I learned a lot to be independent, to be brave when treating patient and understood how it is when you need to refer patient because you are lack of resources. Entered a newly open hospital hoping that all department are available for me to join. But of course, nama pun newly open mestilah kena fill up the most crucial department dulu.
Bukan tak reti nak bersyukur, but compared to fortunate few around me yang Allah atur cantik-cantik ikut apa yang mereka plan nak buat daripada awal.
So when finally things are about to turn in the right direction for me as I hoped it will, I became numb and not know how am I suppose to react. Tak biasa lah plan Allah sama dengan plan kita. Sebelum ni bila tak sama, selalu pujuk hati, inilah yang terbaik daripada Allah. So bila dah sama, ini yang terbaik atau ujian? Misteri sungguh otak perempuan sorang ni. Haha.
Belum lagi benda nak jadi, saya dah fikir macam-macam pros and cons. I called mr.husband and asked for his opinion on how I should feel. Kelakar tak, nak rasa macam mana pun kena tanya suami ke? Haha. Simple je jawapan dia. Allah nak suruh rasa bersyukur.
Now that I came to think about it as I write this down, if it turns out good Alhamdulillah, and if it turns bad, Alhamdulillah juga sebab at least I get the chance to go through it. In the future I will not regret if I miss this opportunity.
Okay?
I would not prolong it further. I am trying this new thing of cuba menulis tak panjang-panjang sangat. Haha.
So what's the news? We shall wait till it become official.
Asslamualaikum
12.13am
Precall syndrome. Haih.
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