Sunday, December 28, 2008

Salam tahun baru

dah tiba tahun baru... so, will i be the same person as my last year? or will i juz be the same? hurm... we'll see...

Doa Awal Tahun & Doa Akhir Tahun


Barangsiapa yang membaca doa awal tahun ini, insya Allah dirinya akan terpelihara daripada gangguan dan godaan syaitan di sepanjang tahun tersebut.

Doa Awal Tahun:


Maksudnya:

Allah SWT berselawat ke atas penghulu kami Muhammad SAW, ahli keluarga dan sahabat-sahabat baginda dan kesejahteraan ke atas mereka.

Wahai Tuhan, Engkaulah yang kekal abadi, yang qadim. yang awal dan ke atas kelebihanMu yang besar dan kemurahanMu yang melimpah dan ini adalah tahun baru yang telah muncul di hadapan kami. Kami memohon pemeliharaan dariMu di sepanjang tahun ini dari syaitan dan pembantu-pembantunya dan tentera-tenteranya dan juga pertolongan terhadap diri yang diperintahkan melakukan kejahatan dan usaha yang mendekatkanku kepadaMu Wahai Tuhan Yang Maha Agung dan Maha Mulia.

Wahai Tuhan Yang Maha pengasih dari mereka yang mengasihi dan Allah berselawat ke atas penghulu kami Muhammad. Nabi yang ummi dan ke atas ahli keluarga dan sahabat-sahabatnya dan kesejahteraan ke atas mereka.




Barangsiapa yang membaca doa akhir tahun ini, maka syaitan akan berkata:
"Hampalah kami di sepanjang tahun ini".

Doa Akhir Tahun:


Maksudnya:

Allah SWT berselawat ke atas penghulu kami Muhammad SAW, ahli keluarga dan sahabat-sahabat baginda dan kesejahteraan ke atas mereka.

Wahai Tuhan, apa yang telah aku lakukan dalam tahun ini daripada perkara-perkara yang Engkau tegah daripada aku melakukannya dan aku belum bertaubat daripadanya. Sedangkan Engkau tidak redha dan tidak melupakannya. Dan aku telah melakukannya di dalam keadaan di mana Engkau berupaya untuk menghukumku, tetapi Engkau mengilhamkanku dengan taubat selepas keberanianku melakukan dosa-dosa itu semuanya. Sesungguhnya aku memohon keampunanMu, maka ampunilah aku. Dan tidaklah aku melakukan yang demikian daripada apa yang Engkau redhainya dan Engkau menjanjikanku dengan pahala atas yang sedemikian itu. Maka aku memohon kepadaMu.

Wahai Tuhan! Wahai yang Maha Pemurah! Wahai Yang Maha Agung dan wahai Yang Maha Mulia agar Engkau menerima taubat itu dariku dan janganlah Engkau menghampakan harapanku kepadaMu Wahai Yang Maha Pemurah. Dan Allah berselawat ke atas penghulu kami Muhammad, ke atas ahli keluarga dan sahabat-sahabatnya dan mengurniakan kesejahteraan ke atas mereka.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

a day in the..

salam..

another experience to be shared... another kind soul that i met..

tadi petang g masjid ngan akak2 n adik2.. baru je ktrg lima bukak majlis, n nak tadabur al-hadid, dtgla seorg mak cik kat kitorg... die duduk n tnye ktrg... saja menegur... rupe2nye die org uzbekistan... keje die ajar mengaji... bukan di masjid... tapi die g flat2 n ajar... die duk kat moscow ngan laki die... laki die pun ngaja.. so, die tnye ktorg reti ngaji x...n then die suh bukak surah dhuha... ktorg pun baca sorg demi dorg... die cakap, die suke tgk ktrg blaja n die kongsi cite... hurm.. trase cam ustazah kat msia... n teringat kat ustazah syarifah kat intec dlu... ada irasnya... sgt rindu pd dia... very motherly..huhu....

pastu ktrg tunggu sampai maghrib... ramai lah jugak rupa2nya perempuan yg dtg time maghrib... sblm ni tak penah tggu sampai maghrib, coz takut kalo dah gelap nk balik sesorg... slalu wonder camne minah russia pakai tudung lilit diorg... cam kompleks sgt cara die, tp sgt lawa diorg pkai tudung... td dekat masjid, ada org tgh blaja sembahyang.. pompuan tu br masuk islam kot... welcome sister... die pakai tudung putih which makes her look so sweet... dah la kulit dorg memg dah putih..


new story... eh x nk la... nnt korg takut... len kali je la.. hek..

salam..

p.s: mama, happy bday...

Monday, December 22, 2008

missing my dear sister!!

salam...

firstly, i want to wish a happy 15th birthday to my sister-Nazurah... may u have a blessed birthday!! kakak misses u so much... ee..peliknyer... sgt cliche... but really, i miss home.. huhu... in few days time, result pmr kluar kan?? i'll call u when it's out... so chill n pray 4 the best kay... gambate!! urm..jaga otok leklok... and always b wif ur phone... sumtimes i call u x angkat pun... huhu~ jgn asyik tgk gilmore gurls jek... wait 4 me... hehe~

Moscow updates~~
this year sgt lah peliknye coz there's no snow... not that i dun like it.. but it's weird... its a sign that global warming is getting more serious by year... last week i think, there was a snow downpour... moscow kids were excited they finally get to play with the snow but unfortunately, it's not the 'real' thing... it's man made... well, not actually man made... the snow were the effect of condensation from asap2 kilang... pathetic kan?? xpela, i dun like snow btw... waiting for spring!! satu semlagi n i'm going home.... for summer holiday of course... not for good sadly... huhu~

apart from the missing snow, russia is also facing a financial crisis.. skarang seringgit malaysia is to 8 ruble kot... last few days punye updates la... not sure bout today, but the primi minister of russia deny that the financial crisis is the fault of their government's mistake but more of the effect of financial crisis occuring in the United States... hurm... i'm not a financial expert kot to talk more bout it... so, gonna stop now...

missing everybody~

salam..

Saturday, December 13, 2008

an uplifting spiritual breakfast

salam... this morning ada org kasi "breakfast"... jom kongsi..

Hadith Rasulullah s.a.w:

setiap amal mempunyai masa semangat & setiap masa semangat terdapat pula masa turun semangatt. barangsiapa yang masa lemah semangatnya masih berada pada sunnahku, maka ia telah mendapat petunjuk.


hopefully all of us adlh di kalangan yg mndpt petunjuk..

dah kenyang??

x kenyang lagi??

huhu... stop crapping la nadhirah..

ok.. peace ppl...salam...

Sunday, December 7, 2008

we must...

stop judging people... because it's not right... and we are not always right.... who says you are right all the time?... and even if you are right, it doesn't give you any privilege to judge people because only God can judge us..

Judging people is one thing, being judge is another thing.. i hate being judge because like it or not, i care about being judge, about what ppl say... but i am LEARNING not to care about what people judge me on because its not always right to look good in front of people when in the eye of God you are totally WRONG!!.. right??

so, if u don't like being judge, don't judge people... then, this world would be a better place for all of us to live in..

in short, dont't judge ppl, do not care about being judge by ppl... but DO CARE about YOURSELF because you, in fact all of us will be judge on the Judgement Day....

Selamat Hari Raya Haji to all... peace :)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

True Love

Salam… Hee.. suddenly the mood to write came… our topic ----> love… yup… like it or not.. It's our topic for today..

So y love? Firstly, we just talked about field of love in psychology class recently… n secondly, today i went to my friend's room to use their microwave oven.. It so happen they were having usrah… so join je dengar skali… and they had a game n it was about love… that's y i'm gonna talk about it 2day, okey?

Let's warm up first… what is love? I can't put it in words because to me it's very subjective… i love my parents.. N i love my friends… n i love my black tshirt… n i show my love towards all these in different ways… hurm… what about love towards god?? Selalu tak sebelum ni orang cakap buat something-something because of Allah… mkn kerana Allah.. Buat homework kerana Allah… hurm, actually i always ask myself macam mana nak buat kerana Allah… is it sufficient enough if dalam hati niat " okay, aku kemas bilik ni kerana Allah"…tapi macam tak rasa or macam org kata "tak feel"… so how do we develop that "feel"? How??

1. During usrah just now, one of my mates shared what she got from her psychology class… the lecturer made a statement ---> we have two kinds of love : a child love and an adult love

A child love is just like when we were small.. We love somebody because they give us protection, they give us things that we want or like… for example, we have lots of uncles and aunties, and let say one of them always gives us sweets and presents when they sees us.. Of course we r going to love that particular uncle more than others… ryte? That's why we love our parents… because they give us protection, attention n care that we need…sebab tu kte kne dgr ckp dorg cos dorg dah jaga kte…okay...

An adult love is what some ppl like me call an unconditional love… when u love someone, no matter how bad that person is, no matter what they do to us, we still love them… no matter what ppl say about it, we r still going to love them… n we will do anything for them… merentas lautan api n belah dada punye cinta la kiranya…

Thinking back about what the teacher said, she told us that sometimes her love towards god is like a child love… she pray to god because she want something.. Because she know that He is not going to leave her… n she does whatever He ask her to do because she wants something back, which is in this case pahala… So she said, supposedly we have to have an adult love towards Him.. Tak kira la ganjarannya apa, tapi when we r told to do something, we do it… because we love him… although we get nothing in return… well, of course la kalau buat baik dpt pahala kan… but you see my point right?? We do it because of our unconditional love towards him.. Unconditionally..

2. Iman hamba, iman saudagar n iman merdeka

Iman hamba - we do something because we r afraid of the consequences in the Hereafter.. (takut dosa)
Iman saudagar - we do something to get something back in return.. (nak pahala).. Like child love
Iman merdeka - we do something because we r free to do it n because it's our right to do it n mostly because it's the right thing to do n it's what we r supposed to be doing… okay… ayat dah pusing2… i hope it's still understandable.. Heh~

3. Love is trembling happiness - Khalil Gibran (…mama did mention bout him sometime ago..)

This is something which i find very very VERY hard to achieve… we wake up at night to perform late night prayers n in the darkness we seek for forgiveness n pray to him… honestly, not every time i can reach the level of penuh kekhusyukan… to feel his "presence", to feel like He is actually listening to whatever i'm saying n to actually cry because malu dgn diri yg hina tapi Allah still dengar apa yg kita nak cakap, kita slalu lupe kat Dia, tapi Dia slalu ada biler kita nak Dia… n bila ada masa n ketikanya dapat rasa khusyuk n ketenangan yg dicari, memang rasa seronok yg amat sangat… and i always want those moments to come along again... N I belive everyone is looking for it too.. The level of happiness that makes u trembles… hurm…

4. Love and doubt have never been on speaking terms - Khalil Gibran (again..)

This can actually be a benchmark for us to know how much we actually love Him… When we have no doubt on whatever we are told to do, then there must be love… simple… yet meaningful…

5. Love possesses not nor will it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto LOVE - Khalil Gibran (again… sorry)

Okay… if it's translated into malay, it will be cinta tidak memiliki dan cinta tidak dapat dimiliki… macam jiwang sangat when it is translated… ala, janji faham sudey~ .. Kita boleh dapatkan cinta Allah sekiranya kita mencintai Dia (3:31).. Tapi kita tak boleh rasa yang kita memiliki cinta Allah… kenapa? Sebab nanti, bila ada doa kita yang tak dimakbulkan, kita tak rasa yang Allah dah tinggalkan kita, because He never did… itu mungkin cuma ujian… jadi bila kita takde rasa memiliki, kita takkan rasa kehilangan.. Btul?

Urm, talking about kehilangan… can i add something… willing to read more? Sikit je.. Actually,baru2 ni dikejutkan dengan berita ttg ayah kepada rakan seperjuangan, Fikrie, yang baru sahaja meninggal dunia.. Al- Fatihah buat arwah… sangat terkejut sebab dpt tahu hari ahad sedangkan ayahnya telah pergi jumaat malam sabtu… dia pun baru dapat tahu… tak terkata n blank sangat bila dpt msg dari luqman, rakan sebilik fikrie… x dpt nk imagine if it happens to me… trus msg mama n abah… tnye tgh watpe… dpt je msg from the both of them, rasa sebak sangat although msg tak contain anything sad… just terfikir yang sekarang i still get to hear their voices but ada org yg dah x dpt nak rasa nikmat tu… sedih kalau after this dah tak dapat nak mintak maaf pd diorang… tak dpt nak ckp how much i love them… n akan sedih n terkilan kalau tak dapat nak serve untuk diorang bila dah besar nanti… teringin la nak bawak diorang jalan2 when dah ada gaji sendiri… belikan barang yang diorang suka… mestila seronok kalau parents kte happy? Btul x? hurm… terfikir jugak, bila2 je Allah boleh tarik nyawa… sekarang kte bley lagi gelak2 la.. Bley go on9(heh~)… mana tau inilah kali terakhir ngadap laptop… hurm… ingat maut kan sunat… tambah dalam mutabaah ibadah mengingati maut kay…

oh, sebelum lupa.. my psychology lecturer pernah cerita... dulu ada org ni ada byk sgt persoalan n masalah... so die tanya sorg wise man ni...but the answers that he get will always be "you need to love"... tanya la ape pun, itula jawapannya.... then he ask, "so, how do i love? how do i learn how to love?".. the wise man said "by loving.. you learn to love by loving"... just like learning anything.. example: you learn to swim by swimming.. sama jugak dgn you learn to berdakwah dgn berdakwah... so think about it kay... till next time, insyaAllah...

Friday, October 10, 2008

Ujian, Keluhan n cookies??



Salam.. Yes, I’m still here.. I’m sorry for the long absence… It’s more than a month since my last post.. So, this will be quite long.. It will be a summary of eventSSS that, alhamdulillah, I’ve gone through this past month…

Chapter 1: The beginning

- 1st of September, I took a flight back to Moscow.. entering a new phase of my life.. entering 2nd year… starting a ‘new’ me insyaallah… realizing that there is a lot of responsibility that I have put upon myself… n hoping that everything goes smoothly as I’ve plan n picture it to be… but bearing in mind the word of a philisopher Jagger “u don’t always get what u want”… but then usaha mesti ada ryte?

- 1st of Ramadhan… all of us bersahur atas flight.. n then transit at dubai for few hours…berkesempatan utk solat di surau yg ada kat airport… byk org from negara2 lain dgn cara solat yg berlainan… not in the sense that diorang sembahyang terbalik or anything… mungkin dari segi tidak menutup kaki ketika sembahyang… n etc..

- Arrived in Moscow in the evening(5 pm)Our first task: to find a place to sleep for the night… after being rejected by Pushkin we seek for the embassy for help.. n they provide us two rooms, one for girls n one for boys.. so problem settled.. the only other thing was that we were asked by the embassy to find a food for berbuka before coming to the embassy because the gate is going to be locked by 7 (new rule.. so we were told)n the clock is ticking(time : almost 6 pm)next task: find a van… this is an easy one.. just a few negotiation n we were already on our way to the embassy… but… as we entered the highway, there was a long queue… we doubted we will make it in time.. apatah lagi nk bli mknn utk berbuka.. hurm… (time: 7.30pm) at last sampai jugak kat embassy… after loading our bags in the room, we started thinking about what to eat.. sedey~ first puasa berbuka cam tak btul… takpe… ini semua dugaan.. btul3x… so, everyone started taking out their kuih raya.. yup, we ate kuih raya on the first day of puasa.. huhu…


Chapter 2: The challenges ahead

- on the next day, we went to Moslanka (agent) to get our hostel.. n they said “ sorry, I have no place for u, please come back at 2”… dalam hati, “ya allah, mane lah diorang nk campak kitorang ni..” n so we waited… at 2, we came back “oh I forgot about you, wait I’ll make some calls”.. huhu.. Russians are like that… they can be very mean at times.. sabar je la.. one call after another.. n finally there’s a place for us.. which I don’t know where.. he drew us a map n said that we have to get there quickly n see if there’s available rooms for us.. (time: 4.++pm).. I was a bit afraid because firstly, rumors had been circulating that the place is going to be very expensive, n as the rumors goes it’s going to cost us 3000usd…. N secondly, the embassy only give us one night to stay at the embassy n we have to clear our luggage before 5pm.. n by looking at the time there is no way we are going to make it in time.. Registering at the hostel took such a long time, more than we had expected but thankfully the administration is very systematic.. very odd for Russians to have a systematic n efficient way of working… people of the embassy were angry towards us for not making it in on time but we had explained about our situation… n there’s nothing we can do to make the Russians work faster.. our passports are with the administration so we can’t move anywhere at that time.. once settled it was almost 7.30pm.. so, some of us rush to the embassy to unload our bags, n some of us went to book a van… n then out of so many days, on that day, it was so hard to get a van.. at the place where u will surely get one.. and when there is finally a van, it turns out that the driver doesn’t know the way to the embassy.. there were 6 of us I think, n it’s very weird if all of us can’t manage to find just ONE van.. one hour had past.. n since it is waaayyy past berbuka time, I went to mcd n bought fillet together for those who were waiting for us at the embassy.. to cut the story short, we manage to get a van n it was already 9 pm when we finish loading all the bags in the van.. the embassy worker locked the gate n went inside.. 5 of us had to take a bus back to the hostel since the van is fully loaded.. n we haven’t berbuka actually.. so we sat on the roadside by the embassy and ate fillet… n it was cold outside… huhu…. Dugaan, dugaan….


Chapter 3: More challenges

- Ramadhan kali ini memang mengajar erti kesabaran (this sentence seems familiar… hurm).. seriously, x putus2 kene duga… beratur utk visa berhari-hari n kene berhimpit macam sardin (ada hundreds of students n the office is only open from 2 to 5pm)… hostel yg mahal 2 kali ganda drpd org lain(2650usd)… n bilik yg sgt kecil.. we r the only Malaysians that live here… others dapat hostel together with other Malaysians( ni cam mengada jek)… n I hv to live with russian married couple.. so everytime nk g toilet, hv to be careful if the husband is around… N byk lagi masalah lain yg involve ppl n shouldn’t be mention here…


Chapter 4: Ramadhan

- Maybe ppl who read this would think that the problems that I face is very small, in fact it is actually small, but at the time it was unbearable.. adding with the impossible Russian attitude and behaviour.. I had few moments of break down actually… yup, honestly…

- After few days membiarkan Ramadhan berlalu, tiba2 rasa malu n hina n mcm2 lagi la… mixed emotion.. rasa x tenang sgt.. tiap2 mlm blk lmbt nk settlekan hostel ni.. patutnya bnykkan ibadah dlm bulan mulia ni.. penat sangat.. brape lame lagi nak macam ni.. so, I grab the holy Quran to seek for peace n serenity.. “Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do heart find peace”… n then I borrowed a book from my dearie friend farahin.. the book is entitled Penenang Jiwa by Imam Al-Ghazali terjemahan kitab Mukashafah Al Qulub.. n everything seems so small.. n all my problems become much more easier to handle.. hurm… I learn to organize n list out all the things that I had to do n set it on priority.. if for the first few days of ramadhan buat tarawikh sorang2.. now we do it together.. there r only few of us who live in this hostel so it is up to us how we want to “light up” the spirit of Ramadhan.. bila start berjemaah ramai-ramai baru lah rasa happy because it reminds me that these people will always be with me n these people are facing the same thing I’m facing right now.. n sesi tazkirah every night yang singkat menghidupkan balik hati yang kering ni… thanx to all of you… you know who u r… thanx to all yg berjaya menghidupkan majlis iftar yugo, malam takbir yugo, raya2 yugo… even though kita sikit but alhamdulillah everything went well..


So, Nadhirah have to always remember about:-


Ujian: Telah berkata Adl Dhalak ra “ Barangsiapa tidak diuji antara tiap-tiap empat puluh hari dengan suatu bala, kedukaan atau musibah, maka tiada kebaikan bagiNya di sisi Allah”


Mengeluh : 70:19-27.. Sesungguhnya manusia diciptakan bersifat keluh kesah lagi kikir. Apabila ia ditimpa kesusahan ia berkeluh kesah, dan apabila ia mendapat kebaikan ia amat kikir, kecuali orang-orang yang mengerjakan salat, yang mereka itu tetap mengerjakan salatnya, dan orang-orang yang dalam hartanya tersedia bagian tertentu, bagi orang (miskin) yang meminta dan orang yang tidak mempunyai apa-apa (yang tidak mau meminta), dan orang-orang yang mempercayai hari pembalasan, dan orang-orang yang takut terhadap azab Tuhannya.


Chapter 5: Raya+physio+biochem+anat

- Selamat hari raya.. To those that I haven’t wish.. selamat hari raya kay..

- The embassy didn’t manage to sent a letter to the dean’s office so like it or not, we have to go to class on the day of raya… n we even have colloquium on that day.. n the day after that.. n the day after that.. 3 big exams in a row.. huhu…

- in the morning, we went to the embassy for solat sunat hari raya.. n then we went for the exam n in the evening we came back to the embassy for jamuan hari raya.. took some pics n went back to our room because there’s another exam the next day..

- despite the exams, I still feel very happy.. after such a long time being isolated living in our hostel, I finally get to meet other Malaysians n being with Malaysians made me forget about the Russians..huhu..

- oh ya, me n my roommates made cookies!! Although byk cerite di sebalik cookies tu, haha, kitorang berjaya jugak… like hanis said there are no such thing as failure, they are only small steps towards success.. …btul3x(kata ipin)

- have u out there ever heard of upin and ipin?… seriously I haven’t before this … u should try to watch it… they are so cute!!

- so, slamat ari raya..(ipin ckp: kalau x puasa, x boley raya…)


raya scenes




after exam physio wif our lecture lydia (sitting)



wif some of the 6th yr students



n the girls...



my roomies...
from left : nadia, farahin, me, hanis


my groupmates...
back (from left) : nadia, me, hanis

front (from left) : fikrie, ammar, alif


"Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometimes help me and sometimes opposes me"
-Al-Ghazali-